Helping your parents downsize is one of the most challenging tasks you will ever undertake. There are practical and legal implications you must consider. Above all, the emotional toll on your parents can feel overwhelming.
There is good news, however!
Planning now can reduce most of the stress associated with downsizing.
It’s important to sit down and map out a plan well in advance. This allows your parents to pick a place that is right for them, rather than something they feel forced into.
The first question is, are your parents ready and willing to downsize? If downsizing is their idea, your role becomes much easier. If they are reluctant, there’s nothing you can do to force them. You can, however, start planting the seeds.
- Do you know anyone who has downsized recently and is now happier than ever? Talk about them often.
- When you see a house or neighbourhood that seems perfect for your parents, point it out. Talk about the advantages of a smaller place or being closer to family.
- Whenever you mention the possibility of downsizing, always focus on the positive. Remind your parents of how supportive the community is and how much less cleaning they’ll have to worry about.
And, of course, always be gentle when you approach the subject as it is a sensitive topic.
Even when your parents are on board, selling their home and moving away is highly emotional.
Here are some practical tips to make downsizing easier for both of you:
Give yourself as much time as possible.
It’s not just a matter of selling the house and buying a new one. Your parents will need time to go through their belongings, deciding what to keep and what to discard.
Analyze your parents’ finances.
An agent can give you an estimate of the value of their home, so you can determine how much they can spend on their new place. Also, factor in their new living costs and any pensions, RRSP, or other income they may have.
What kind of lifestyle do your parents want?
Are they still active and able, or do they need some assistance? Answering these questions helps determine whether to buy a smaller home, a condo or even move to a place with assisted living.
Determine where they want to relocate.
Will they stay in Toronto and simply move to a different neighbourhood? Or would they prefer to live somewhere just outside the city where they still have access to all amenities? These questions can also help with the financial planning for your parents.
What kind of neighbourhood is best?
Will they be happier in an area with mostly an adult population, or would they love to have children around?
When you get a chance, sit down and brainstorm with your parents and decide what would be best before going any further.
Making lists can help you find a house with everything your parents need while remaining flexible.
- Think of what features their new home must-have.
- What features would be nice to have (but not necessary.)
- Write down anything that might be a dealbreaker (too small, not enough closets, etc).
This advanced planning will make every step easier when it comes time to make the move.
A full-service real estate agent can help alleviate much of the stress when downsizing. Set up a free, no-obligation meeting today, and we will answer all of your questions.
The legal implications:
There can be several legal hurdles to helping your parents move, especially if or when they can no longer manage their own affairs.
This is a tough conversation, but a necessary one, and the sooner, the better.
It would be wise to consult with a lawyer about assigning a Power of Attorney (POA) while your parents are still able. As POA, you’ll be able to step in and handle their finances and possessions when needed. This becomes crucial if they no longer want to or can no longer deal with complex financial issues.
There are two types of Power of Attorney.
Power of Attorney over Property:
This is a legal document granting authority to make financial decisions on their behalf. It is required if you ever need to sign off on any real estate contracts, offers or agreements.
Power of Attorney over Personal Care:
This authorizes you to make decisions about your parents’ personal care if they become unable to look after themselves.
The emotional toll of downsizing:
Hands down, the most heart-wrenching part of the process is the emotional toll it takes. Even if your parents are excited about a smaller home with less maintenance, saying goodbye to old memories is still painful.
They have an attachment to their current house and everything in it.
Strong emotions arise, especially when it comes time to clean and declutter. It’s one more reason to leave lots of time for downsizing. Your parents will have to discard many of their belongings, some of which they greatly cherish. It’s helpful to take it slow and be sensitive to their feelings.
What looks like an old piece of junk to you might represent a fond memory to them. That said, some stuff must go.
You can make it easier for them by being there to reminisce, laugh and say, “Remember when….”
Donating cherished belongings to a worthy cause can make it easier to part with them. Your parents can take comfort, knowing another family will cherish their items.
Once everything has been decluttered, it’s time to start packing. Talk about how nice everything will look once placed in the new home. Once they can visualize their new life, the excitement can begin.
Downsizing done right can bring a sense of relief and satisfaction. Soon, your parents will feel ready and excited for their next chapter.
Do you have more questions about downsizing? Read our Top Tips for Downsizing Without Stress here.
